Dear ee,
My BF and I were discussing the difference between emotional and physical affairs. I was saying how I personally think emotional affairs are more of a betrayal. He thinks physical affairs are. Is it a female/male thing?
I think emotional is worse because you are giving so much of yourself to someone else, confiding in them, opening youself up to them. I do think that many lead to physical but for arguements sake lets leave it as an either or.
If you had to choose, which would you say is worse?
Thanks,
Confusion
Does flirting with a stranger count as cheating? Is flirting online with one particular person crossing the line?
Dear Confusion,
The key word here is affair. An affair is long-term cheating. It is not flirting at a bar or watching porn or getting a BJ at the corner of Sunset and Hollywood or Tongren Lu (although that is a sign of weak character, but I won’t judge here, sista). It involves time and energy and planning. There are motives, plots, premeditation and coverups. It is more significant than an one night stand after a drinking binge. Therefore, I think all types of affairs are betrayal.
There is no point in choosing what type of affair is the better kind. It is hurtful no matter what form it comes. And baby, it is always a male versus female thing!
Having open communication with your partner to determine each other’s comfort level is a sensible way to resolve this. Each person’s perimeters shall be respected or you two are not meant for the holy moly matrimony. Does flirting with a stranger whom you will never see again at a bar count as cheating? Is flirting online frequently with one particular person crossing the line? Having opposite gender friends does not automatically mean having an affair. It is healthy for one to have them. The boundaries set in your relationship with your boyfriend is key here.
Good Luck,
ee
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