Dear Caveman,
I need some advice. About a year ago a coworker started to show interest in me. We are both in relationships and want to keep it that way. It started when he started dropping hints about being interested in me. I at first did not react but over time after he continued to pursue, and I started flirting back.
It went from just talk to physical. I was on cloud nine and felt wonderful about myself. We became extremely attracted to each other and though we had not at this point had sex, we wanted it bad and would often talk about getting together. We had a lot of closed-door meetings with a lot of touching and feeling.
He is not making contact like before. No more looks, no more touching. I plan a meeting and he makes excuses.
Eight months ago we finally did what both of us wanted so much. (Again this was never a love thing but more of an infatuation.) He continued to pursue me and on a business trip we got together again.
After the business trip things seemed to have changed. I am extremely comfortable with pursuing him now, which I was a little shy before. Kind of like a Pandora’s box has been opened. But I feel that he has stopped. He is not making contact like before. No more looks, no more touching. I plan a meeting and he makes excuses. When I ask him (which is often) if he still wants to continue, he says YES, don’t you??! I say yes of course.
I am of the personality where if I don’t get an answer, I often push harder. I can’t get it out of my mind and when it does not happen I start to think something is wrong with me or what did I do. Many many emotions sink in.
Again I asked are you interested, and he continued to say he is very much. But he seems nervous about doing the things we did behind closed doors, which he was not in the past. Says he does not want to get caught. Did not seem to bother him before.
Is he playing mind games with me? Do you think he is still interested? How should I continue? I feel I need to back off but just can’t seem to detach myself, and I run conversations in my head that we have had over and over again. Is he telling me these things to avoid conflict or upsetting me? When I say I ask him about it a lot, I do. Probably two or three times a week. HELP! I need some answers and advice.
Regards,
Office Lady
Dear Office Lady,
He was interested in you because it was wrong, and you were hard to get. Now you have no problem with his advances, and he has gone from hunting you to being fed by you. No moral dilemma, no chase, so no bang bang. Probably the same reason he’s cheating on his girlfriend.
Close your legs and maybe he’ll become interested again. Otherwise, flirt with another coworker in front of him to give him a sense of competition. The man doesn’t need you. He needs to hunt.
Ooga Booga,
The Caveman
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